Let me tell you about a game that will change your life. It explains something you do every day without realising it, and it has profound implications for your personal success.
Here’s the game. Max Bazerman is a Harvard Business School professor. In some of his lectures, he shows a $20 bill and invites students to bid for it, with the opening bid set at $1. There are three rules: there can only be one winner, bids must increase $1 at a time, and the runner-up must, as a penalty, hand over an amount equal to their last unsuccessful bid and get nothing for it.
Here are two interesting questions. You know the answer to the first one, but will definitely not know the answer to the second one.
First question. If you want to successfully lead and persuade other people, what’s the first step? Answer: learn how to successfully persuade yourself. In other words, learn how to keep yourself on track, stay motivated and achieve your goals. So far, so good.
Second question: if you want to be good at self-persuasion, what does an alley covered in graffiti have to do with it?
If there’s one thing stopping you from being a great persuader, it’s ‘waterfall thinking’.
Let me explain the nature of the problem. In ‘The Wind, Sand and Stars’, Antoine de Saint-Exupery tells the story of three Arabs who were flown to the French Alps. Their guide led them to a spot where they could observe a spectacular waterfall, with vast torrents of water cascading down the rocks. The three men stood “transfixed” in front of this magnificent site. Eventually their guide grew impatient and suggested they move on to see something else. The Arabs said no, they could not leave yet and they wanted to wait. “Wait for what?” asked the guide, puzzled. “We are waiting for it to end,” they replied.
You’re fed up reading everyone’s opinions on BREXIT! This post isn’t about who’s right or wrong. It’s about a fascinating and dangerous ‘thinking trap’ that BOTH sides have fallen for.
Whether you’re pro-leaving or pro-remaining, you’ve probably wondered how the other side is unable to see all the simply obvious reasons that support your beliefs and opinion on the matter.
There’s a psychological reason for this, and once you understand it you’ll understand:
We’ve all heard recently that the SABC has declined to air the DA’s election campaign advert. This comes shortly after the national broadcaster announced that it won’t be airing any public service delivery protests.
This article is not about how terrible this situation is or how the SABC has possibly been hijacked for the ruling party’s political purposes. Rather, as a mentalist and teacher of influence psychology, I’ll be sharing with you why this will have a reverse effect!
This brief article is about how our human minds tick, how ‘banning’ the DA advert will give it even more power, and how you can learn to apply this same influence technique in your own life to be more persuasive!
I’m going to assume that in preparing for a job interview you have enough sense to take care of the basics: look smart, be prepared, check appointment details, turn up at the right place in plenty of time, research the company… and so on. I’m also going to assume you’ve clicked through a few ‘How to ace a job interview!’ articles online.
So far, so good. Here are eight influence tips you’re unlikely to find elsewhere...
Our country is on the brink of massive change, and with times like these come feelings of doubt and uncertainty. As an expert on ‘influence’ I find myself observing the reactions to the #ZUMAMUSTFALL marches, and humbly marvel at how we fall into predictable psychology-traps.
After I attended the march at Nelson Mandela Bridge, I’ve been asked by many people if I think the marches have made any difference. No doubt you’ve seen articles and arguments voicing many different views. What follows is my answer and explanation from the perspective of a mentalist, and a citizen of South Africa. Please leave your own comment at the end, and share this with your networks.
The debate on nature vs. nurture is almost as old as the school of psychology itself. While the essential answer to the question ‘Why are we who we are?’ is a rather dissatisfying ‘A little bit of everything’, there are numerous studies that seek to identify the most crucial elements. It almost feels disenfranchising to think that either our genes are the rulers of our destiny, or our upbringing will shape us into permanent moulds as adults. Where do our own choices come in?
Who’s Got the Power?
We all want to be more powerful. We read books and listening to motivating tapes, rehearse our big pitches and conversations and devise strategies and goals to empower ourselves. What if there was an easy way to make yourself feel more powerful in just two minutes?
I love negotiation! It’s one of my favourite subjects to discuss in my sessions, because it’s very useful and it involves so many aspects of psychology. Here are seven ‘not so obvious’ tips that I share in my talks and classes.